BY ORDER OF THE MODS: CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT AND GET OUT BY NOON (EST)

"MonkeePuzzle" (monkeypuzzle)
04/01/2020 at 09:44 • Filed to: None

DISCUSSION (73)

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 09:48

Kinja'd!!!

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 09:48

But ... mah freedums!

MonkeePuzzle > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s
04/01/2020 at 09:50

Kinja'd!!!

Just Jeepin' > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 09:50

EDT .

And not funny.

UserNotFound > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 09:51

STAAAHHPPPP

MonkeePuzzle > Just Jeepin'
04/01/2020 at 09:52

timezones are indeed a serious business

TheJWT > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 09:52

SQUATTERS RIGHTS

66P1800inpieces > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 09:52

I thought we cancelled that this year?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 09:52

GTFAC.

MonkeePuzzle > TheJWT
04/01/2020 at 09:53

nobody is stopping you from that particular glute exercise, you merely cannot have an account on oppositelock anymore.

good day sir

MonkeePuzzle > 66P1800inpieces
04/01/2020 at 09:54

oppositelock has been cancelled.

MonkeePuzzle > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
04/01/2020 at 09:54

this phrase, it’s acronym, and any similarities are the sole possession of oppositelock. you may not use this after noon today.

MonkeePuzzle > CalzoneGolem
04/01/2020 at 09:55

you are free to post #content on any other location that exists past noon today.

Nibby > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:04

Kinja'd!!!

INVOKE THE OATH

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:07

/r/oppositelock ftw

Mid Engine > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:08

*looks at the calendar* checks out

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:14

make me, copper

Wheelerguy > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:14

As the chief executive of this forum’s criminal conglomerate and the man who spearheaded The Old Fight, I shall kill you for this.

Future next gen S2000 owner > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:18

What about shitposting? How will I waste company time if Oppo is the sole owner of the venerable shitpost?

MonkeePuzzle > CalzoneGolem
04/01/2020 at 10:36

reddit is closed.

MonkeePuzzle > Wheelerguy
04/01/2020 at 10:36

I’m already dead

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:37

fek

OmerCarrothers333 > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:44

I just came back a couple days ago, I don't want to leave!

functionoverfashion > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:51

April Fools is canceled too

Chariotoflove > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 10:59

Bankrupt? Wait, we had money?!

Chariotoflove > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
04/01/2020 at 11:00

is that iron-y?

A Boy and His Longtail > Chariotoflove
04/01/2020 at 11:02

This is the real question

A Boy and His Longtail > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 11:03

You’ll never take me alive!

ClassicDatsunDebate > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 11:03

I have a 48 pack of these blogs in the pantry anyway.

Chariotoflove > A Boy and His Longtail
04/01/2020 at 11:07

Monkee just inadvertently admitting to embezzlement.

For Sweden > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 11:08

finally

MonkeePuzzle > For Sweden
04/01/2020 at 11:11

the way we’ve been spending to buy shitposts, shocked this bankruptcy didnt come sooner

MonkeePuzzle > Chariotoflove
04/01/2020 at 11:12

I have been embezzling 100% of oppositelock’s profits

PartyPooper2012 > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 11:18

Thank you! First April fools joke. I thought we as residents of planet Earth have all but forgotten.

Stef Schrader > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 11:21

Good.

Stef Schrader > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
04/01/2020 at 11:22

All Coppers Are Bad

(I prefer rose gold, TBH.)

Stef Schrader > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 11:24

Stef Schrader > Future next gen S2000 owner
04/01/2020 at 11:24

we seize the means of Oppo production when they’re not looking

Stef Schrader > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 11:26

U gh, I asked to be hit by a bus way before you did. Get in line, loser. At least let me go first at something in my garbage life.

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/01/2020 at 11:27

Can we forget April Fool’s entirely?

MonkeePuzzle > Stef Schrader
04/01/2020 at 11:28

the decision to not use an animated gif from RATM’s Killing In the Name Of is just another indication of why this blog has lost all it’s money. poor choices in crucial times .

MonkeePuzzle > Stef Schrader
04/01/2020 at 11:31

Kinja'd!!!

My bird IS the word > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 11:43

Let me know when the assets go up for auction

MonkeePuzzle > My bird IS the word
04/01/2020 at 11:44

link to auction is here , I posted everything we have on Bring A Trailer

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/01/2020 at 11:45

well, I suppose we could... but what do you suggest to take its place? Coronavirus day? I don’t want to remember or celebrate coronavirus day. I want to get back to normal. Hold hands and skip down the street*

*I don’t normally do, but during normal times, I could if I wanted to

Tapas > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 12:06

Damn.....and to think I was saving all those posts for a rainy day .

All gone. G O N E ! :(

MonkeePuzzle > Tapas
04/01/2020 at 12:26

post anything of value now! but it will be auctioned off at noon.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 13:04

# Parmagate

#Harambe

Chariotoflove > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 13:13

That would explain the financing of that sweet Honda project.

Brickman > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 13:15

It’s past noon and im still here. Ha ha!

MonkeePuzzle > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
04/01/2020 at 13:27

Kinja'd!!!

My bird IS the word > MonkeePuzzle
04/01/2020 at 13:48

Shit I would love the rights to that, coast of those sweet rick astley residuals.

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/01/2020 at 14:38

I just think the April Fool’s jokes are lame. I’d replace them with.......not April Fool’s. A Wednesday.

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/01/2020 at 14:55

Would you like to swap screen names?

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/02/2020 at 03:36

No. April Fool’s isn’t a party—it’s a lame dad joke-laden menace driven by PR nerds to get the #brand out. Yeet its dead, rotting corpse into the sea and be freeeeee! (Free to actually be funny, that is.)

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/02/2020 at 05:41

I am not qualified for any of this, but how are things with you and your dad?

April fools is just a day to pull a prank or two on your friends and relatives.

If you want to see a holiday that is about getting #Brand Out - that be the Valentine’s day. Mother’s day is another.

I don’t know why you dislike April Fool’s day so much, but ummm... I hate to tell you this - I got your nose

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/02/2020 at 06:57

Dad passed away several years ago.

I still know what a “dad joke” is, though, and...groan. My nose is still attached to my face.

I can also tell you’ve never had to deal with a deluge of dumb fake brand announcements, and for that, be glad. Valentine’s Day is at least open about the fact that it only exists for you to buy crap you don’t need. April Fool’s Day is just pathetic.

Multiple sites, uh, with Patrick over them banned reposting any stupid April Fool’s crap unless there was a solid take to be had , as most of these lame “jokes” are just “notice me, senpai” brand wank. They’re not even relics of our late-capitalism hellscape—they’re just pathetic.

For every okay “we’re going to add Porsche tractors in iRacing” or “look at this hella sweet van that should be real” press release, there’s 97 branded dating services, fake logo redesigns, “hello, fellow kids” in photoshopped car form and “jokes” told by people who have no sense of timing or humor.

This one’s a good example of the nonsense that barrages our inboxes on April Brand Hell Day: https://jalopnik.com/kia-aero-soul-concept-when-april-fools-day-goes-too-fa-5191899

Kia’s comms team couldn’t even make it out of the first paragraph without letting loose an A.P.R.I.L. abbreviation. Why even read further? It’s just going to be painful for both of us.

April Fool’s Day press releases read as if the no-talent scabs at Zombie Deadspin tried their hand at writing The Onion. The heavy-handed attempt at “humor” is given away by the topshot and/or the headline, yet there’s more text for no other reason than “please pay attention to my #brand.”

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/02/2020 at 07:09

I’m sorry for your loss.

As for the brand pushes, I think you are in a unique position to encounter these. Similar to cops only mostly dealing with criminals and doctors only mostly dealing with sick people, you encounter porsches and kias that should be real but are not type jokes.

Maybe there is an overabundance of dad jokes out there, but they don’t disappear on April 2nd.

There are truly funny pranks people pull on April 1st. Non dad jokes. Non brand jokes. Just pranks.

Yes, they may be juvenile in nature, but their intention is to put a smile on one’s face.

This world is pretty miserable if you stop and think about the current events - Covid, hunger, pollution, wars, etc. Sometime we just need a joke that will make us do a double take.

Yes, your nose is still attached to your face, but I took the quarter from behind your ear and I’m keeping it

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/02/2020 at 18:05

I never had a quarter. I’m still unemployed! Also, you’re supposed to stay six feet away, man.

I gotta say I appreciate a good fart joke, though.

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/03/2020 at 02:49

I could have sworn you wrote an article or two for Jalopnik or something. That might have been a paying job. Unless they paid you all of 24 cents, you for sure had a quarter.

I might be living under a rock or something, but I don’t know any fart jokes.

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/03/2020 at 19:39

Heh, more like a few thousand. I took a buyout before the ownership situation all went to hell, though: https://jalopnik.com/stef-schrader-takes-the-checkered-flag-1827391558

...aaaaand now I’m the garbage industry leftover whom no one wants. My life is hell, but I did enjoy wandering off to the Nürburgring with that sweet, sweet buyout cash.

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/06/2020 at 05:40

Maybe explore doing some video journalism.... on youtube?

Everyone can do a car review and there is plenty of that content. (Doug Demuro for example, Tavarish ) But maybe from a female point of view? Get big enough there, maybe someone will get interested in you again? Just an idea.

If not car review, maybe do some wrenching. If not wrenching, track reviews?

I watch Mustie1 and while he wrenches on old junk and makes things run again, i learned a bunch from his channel . Not only how things work, but also things like how to get that POS rusted out fastener out. What tools to use, what tricks he’s got. Everyone has a trick of some sort - racer and mechanic alike.

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/06/2020 at 07:02

Hard pass on YouTube. It’s a lot of unpaid labor until you finally get paid, and even then, you’re at the mercy of YouTube not changing its pay structure or randomly demonetizing your stuff. I was a film major in college, too, so I know * exactly* how much unpaid labor that is without a few others involved to help shoot and edit. I like other peoples’ videos , but there’s no way I’m in any kind of position to dedicate that much unpaid time to building anything up over there.

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/06/2020 at 07:29

It’s your choice. It’s your call. But advertising your work on youtube is kind of similar to writing your resume. You don’t expect to get paid for writing your resume.

I am not telling you how to do you. You do what you want.

My whole thing is don’t hate on April 1st.

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/07/2020 at 10:44

I’m gonna hate on April Fool’s Day until I die so long as the brands make it painful.

Also, a resume doesn’t take hours of recurring (as YT loves your account to be active at least once? a week ) of unpaid labor. I’ve heard “just do YouTube” a billion times, hence the frustration. I don’t think folks understand how much work goes into even crappy shoots and edits on there.

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/07/2020 at 10:50

ok then. Free country. You can hate on April 1st and hope someone snatches up your talent

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/07/2020 at 14:38

Thanks, man. It’s felt hopeless lately, and t hat means a lot.

PartyPooper2012 > Stef Schrader
04/07/2020 at 14:59

sarcasm so thick, if it were mud, David Tracy’s off- roaders wouldn’t get through it

Stef Schrader > PartyPooper2012
04/07/2020 at 16:21

Oh no, no sarcasm meant there.